Phrases that were funny as a kid

[Dionysus]

You think you’re hot snot on a silver platter, but you’re just cold boogers in a Dixie cup.

 

[darius]

Your mama.

That's what you are. But, what am I?

Say it. Don't spray it.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

 

[georgecostanza]

Pull my finger.
Fuchi capesta.
Silent but deadly.
Pinch a loaf.
Drop a stool.
Did somebody step on a duck?
Smoot move, ex-lax.

Phrases that I still find funny:
Lay some cable.
Drop the kids off at the pool.
Take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

You can see what kind of family I was raised in.

 

[Dionysus]

In reply to:

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[Sangre Naranjada]

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[Vol Horn 4 Life]

He's a fox.

I understand that it was the male version of foxy lady and it's not really funny in the humorous sense, but I never got it. There's nothing sexy about a fox. I'm just sayin'.

 

[Texanne]

Speak for yourself, Vol Horn.

When I was little, my favorite book was Disney's Robin Hood, and I also saw the movie in the theater. The title character was a fox. And he was darn sexy. In fact, when I was 3, I wanted to marry him.

 

[LonghornCatholic]

You uh lying inky dinky, and your drawers are stinky.
Stole this from the Bruthas

"drawers" that correct for underwear?

 

[Statalyzer]

Inky binky bonky
Daddy had a donkey
Donkey died, daddy cried
Inky binky bonky

No idea where it came from, it was some way of choosing a random person similar to eeny meeny miny moe.

 

[Crockett]

Insults traded among high schoolers not gettin any back in the days when it was hard for high schoolers to get any.

Hadn't had no 'ussy since a 'ussy had you.
Pwhipped, but but not getting no P

A farm kid, I liked expressions from my elders.
"dry as a popcorn fart"
He wouldn't give a dime to see an earthquake."
About a much use a tits on a boar hog
Slap your eyeballs right out the back o your head
wouldn't hit a lick at a snake

 

[Basil Your Face]

If you scream, I'll stab you more.

 

[Dionysus]

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel
So let's have beans at every meal.

 

[l00p]

If you knew half as much as you think you do you'd know twice as much as you really do.

 

[l00p]

smooth move, ex-lax. what do you do for an encore, gargle peanut butter?

 

[UTEng]

Gotta reference some Bill Cosby...

I brought you in this world, I'll take you out
Dad is great...give us the chocolate cake

 

[OldHippie]

Now I lay me down to sleep
with a bag of peanuts at my feet.
If I die before I wake
you'll know I died of a tummy ache.

Then there were the songs that had only one or two lines of words and sung to simple tunes but repeated endlessly and were sung only to annoy. I can remember three, "My name is Yon Yonson, I come from Wisconsin", "George Washington Bridge" and "Lloyd George knew my father". These were different from "99 bottles of beer on the wall" which actually had a theoretical end point.

 

[Dionysus]

In reply to:

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[l00p]

I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks on you!

Diony, we had a variation of yours above.

Beans, beans they help your heart.
The more you eat the more you fart.
The more you fart the better you feel
so eat your beans at every meal.

 

[l00p]

I don't remember where I picked this up from, who said it or why but I do know I was grounded for two weeks, got a good spanking and had to do an unfair amount of chores. There was no tv or Mattel Football or Battlestar Galactica game either, nothing. I was not even allowed to read since my parents knew I enjoyed it.

I was overheard saying this to another kid in the neighborhood during a kickball game in the street, aka, our playground.

"You're a mother ******* titty sucking two-balled *****. Your father went to hell, your mother went to jail and your sisters on the corner yelling "***** for sale"

I did not even know what it meant for her to be yelling that on a corner. Why not from a roof top or a hill? I had no idea but it sure got me in deserved trouble. I was 9.

 

[Crockett]

I had similar problems at about the same age for singing a ditty I picked up at school:
She's the best in the west with the mountains on her chest
and the balls between her legs.

 

[Dionysus]

Some of you guys were filthy. I was mostly riffing on farts and boogers.

 

[l00p]

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[Basil Your Face]

"He called the **** poop."

 

[MrPhlegm]

"Put the eggs on top"

 

[GreenDragonSix]

I remember:

"COOL BEANS!"

"TAKE A CHILL PILL"

GAG ME WITH A SPOON"

 

[WorsterMan]

If it got Tits or a Transmission... sooner or later friend, it's gonna give you trouble.

It ain't fair! She has 50% of the money and 100% of the p.....

Just sayin'

 

[BrntOrngBld]

$%#& for brains (stepdad’s favorite)

Your *** is grass and I’m the mower

He’s so old, he farts dust

 

[TxStHorn]

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[VYFan]

"That's so funny I forgot to laugh."