My toaster.....****UPDATE****

[Mrs.Macanudo]

I have posted about my nerotic co-worker before and particularly, about how she freaked out when I brought in my "newer" toaster to replace one she had brought in that was some 15+ years old (it was old.....I don't quite remember HOW old).

I bought Mac a new toaster (a "four slot-er"!) for Christmas. I brought our old toaster (still 5 years old) in to replace the ancient one in our office. It was rusty and had the old-fashioned narrow slots so that you had to flatten your bagel to toast it. The owner of that old toaster became very upset and sent out an email asking what we should do with her toaster because it was still perfectly good...etc., etc. She spoke with my supervisor who told me to just take my toaster back home or keep it in my office.

So, I moved my toaster into my office. Everyone else in the office now comes knocking on my door when they want to toast something.

Well, I went out of town to Anchorage for work this week and returned this morning. My toaster is gone from my office. Apparently, my co-worker called the fire department while I was out of town and told them I have a toaster in my office which is a fire hazard so the post fire marshall came and took the toaster out of my office. However, out on the counter in the break room now, is the FREAKIN !% YEAR OLD TOASTER! that the "fire marshall" didn't remove. It is actually a fire hazard to have it any where in our building (don't ask, it some ancient rule). How did her toaster survive?

My toaster was like a 30 dollar toaster. I'm tempted to have her fork up the cash. I'm PISSED! The fire marshall actually made a special trip over here to get it because he and my co-worker go to the same church. WTF?-

SEE UPDATE BELOW IN NEW POST.

 

[stillaphlopin]

I'm sorry, but I just had to laugh.

 

[Tyler Durden]

I'm going to draw the wrath of some but most of your posts could be answered with because they are government employees. I'm not trying to make light of your post because that would really piss me off. It sounds like you work with the dumbest people on earth.

 

[jt09]

You really should toasterjack her. Just claim total ignorance. No ransom or anything.

I know if I can't have toast ain't nobody havin' toast.

 

[Mike_Tyson]

Women are freaking ruthless. I'd be pissed if I were you Mrs. Mac, but from the outside looking in, it is funny. Here's what you do, use the toaster in the kitchen. Pick it up, see how nice it is. OOPS! I dropped the toaster! Let me pick it up to see if it's been damaged. OOPS! I dropped it again! Break the thing. Eye for an eye in this situation.

 

[AuburnTexas]

Your co-worker's husband left her for a younger woman. She represents the old toaster. Now do you see?

 

[ElCuernoLargo]

It is not enough for her to lose her toaster. No, that would be too quick, too painless. You must get her to admit to calling the fire marshall and having the toaster confiscated. Then, you must get her to beg forgiveness. She must do this all in public, without knowing that you have been behind the scenes, pulling the strings and carrying out your plan for revenge the entire time. You must break her, utterly destroy her and her reputation. And then, when she's about to lose everything, when she's on the brink of insanity, have her toaster removed.

Then you will have vengeance.

 

[atxbaby]

Your boss should pay for your jacked toaster, (s)he's the one who didn't have the balls to tell the old bat that her toaster is rusty and crusty and doesn't toast bagels. (S)he told you to put the toaster in your office, hence he should pay for it.

As for the crazy old toaster lady, she got rid of your toaster when you weren't in the office, so I'd get rid of her toaster when she wasn't in the office. Of course she'll suspect you, but just smile and deny deny deny. That's what I would do at least.

Keep us updated.

 

[rtchorn]

This is easy... stuff some paper towels into her "!% YEAR OLD TOASTER" while nobody is looking. Problem solved. Did the fire marshall actually confiscate the toaster, or did they just take it out of your office. Frankly, you should make your boss pony up because he's the one that told you to put it in your office in the first place.

On a side note, how many people use a toaster at work? I can see using a microwave, but nobody I work with brings in sliced bread and then proceeds to taost it at work. Hell, we've got one guy that likes to cook whole meals at lunch time using the oven and stove and there's still no need for a toaster.

 

[Macanudo]

In reply to:

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[KaiserSoze]

That is ******* ridiculous. Y'all're moving soon, right? I really don't understand what her problem is with having 2 toasters in the kitchen... like people couldn't use both of them or something.

I'm guessing that if that many of your coworkers were coming to your office to toast stuff then they are probably a little ticked off as well.

 

[Mrs.Macanudo]

My toaster is in the freak'n back seat of her car. I was out running some stuff across post and when I pulled back into the lot, I parked next to her car. I peeked into the bag seat because my boss had made a comment on how messy this worker's car is....

So I glanced over as I was plugging my car in and just about fell on my *** as I stomped across the lot in utter disbelief.

I just huffed into my office and slammed the door. I didn't want to say something I would regret if I confronted her as pissed off as I am....

What do I do now???

 

[Bevo5]

Send out an email telling people you're running out to the parking lot to toast a bagel in her car...ask if anybody has anything they would like to have toasted while you're out there.

I'm guessing that toaster will dissapear though. You should go get her now.

 

[biggie]

Sabotage her toaster so that it will smoke profusely when being used. Maybe some extra butter that happened to fall in the slots? Would be poetic justice for the grounds on why your toaster was confiscated.

 

[Mike_Tyson]

Take pictures of your toaster in her car. File charges. This is theft. Dishonorable discharge sounds about right.

 

[Tyler Durden]

In reply to:

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[Horny04]

I agree with taking a picture of it in the backseat of her car. Think a large picture of the whole car, and then one of the car w/ the license plate showing. Then another close up so you can clearly see the toaster in her backseat.

Present said evidence to her in a manilla envelope. Don't say a word, just stand there with your arms folded looking down at her. And have your boss waiting outside the room or even in the room with you.

Please video tape this exchange.

 

[MizzouSnives]

seriously. get the freaking photographic evidence you need. don't you and mac have a sweet camera? post the pictures on hornfans, and we'll make you a "wanted" poster for you to put up in your office. when your co-workers realize that the "missing" toaster in the picture is located in your other co-worker's car, anti-***** sentiment will grow. you need to take that ho down.

does anyone else get frustrated reading posts like this? i don't even know that other woman, but i want to smack her in the face and just laugh as she tastes her own blood. then i would toast a bagel and shove it up her ***.

 

[Mrmyke709]

This aggression will not stand, man.

 

[Tyler Durden]

This sounds like an episode of The Office. I could see Angela getting pissed off and Dwight hiding the toaster.

 

[stillaphlopin]

This is better than an episode of The Office.

Looks like we posted that at the same time Tyler.

 

[accuratehorn]

When she's gone one day, take her toaster down to Nanuck's toaster repair store, and tell ole Nanuck that you are entering the world championship flying toast contest. You will have the toaster disassembled, then replace the spring that pops the toast up with an Acme Grizzly Bear Trap spring. Then return the appliance and await the first raisin bread in orbit.

 

[S197HQQKEM]

My name is Mrs.Macanudo. You stole my toaster, prepare to die!

My name is Mrs.Macanudo. You stole my toaster, prepare to die!

My name is Mrs.Macanudo. You stole my toaster, prepare to die!

 

[next2naus]

quit being such a chick, ask her what the deal is, do it calmly and in front of other people. "hey...I parked next to you and I saw my toaster in the back of your car. what's the deal? it was my understanding from you that the FD confiscated it", "you seem really attached to this bet down old toaster, what gives? can't we use the new one that doesn't require my bread type items to be squashed?"

why can people not just say what needs to be said.

 

[TEXAS1026]

shank the *****.

nobody would miss her.

 

[atxbaby]

holy crap i can't believe the nerve of this *****. take her down mrs. m!

and somebody should write an episode of the office with this storyline. it would be greatness.

 

[Mike_Tyson]

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[hookem115]

This wacko lady must get personal pleasure from others using her toaster and feels threatened by an interloper toaster. Please confront her and post details of the confrontation - its people like this that make my blood boil. Technically that is theft. Bust her!

 

[jt09]

In reply to:

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[miguelito]

I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Since you're leaving anyway, make a big deal about it. Involve other co-workers. Publicly humiliate this woman; put her in her place. It would make all of us feel better.

PS. We need to see some pics.