Dear Coach Fran

[lilMAC]

Please quit calling the triple option toward #27.

My head hurts. And everything is spinning

Sincerely,


Stephen McGee

 

[Leon]

Dear Coach Fran,

I appreciate all that you are doing in College Station to continue the tradition I started back in the 1950s. We took a bunch of soft, skinny kids out to junction, and by the time they were seniors they won the conference. Now that players get 4 years of eligibility, I'm sure this will be your break out year. I feel honored to have coached at the same institution as you.

Paul Bryant
P.S. Get out of my office right now

 

[Uncle Rico]

Dear Coach Fran,

I have "dry tongue" from licking you so bad.

Sincerely,

College Football

 

[Steinbeckford]

Dear Coach Fran,

Thank you for agreeing to and contributing your own snacks to our product placement endeavors. We don't mind that you used our $1 million payment to secure your job for another couple of years. If you can win the Big XII South it will mean a variety of cakes for you and your program to endorse.

Sincerely,
Little Debbie Snack Cakes

 

[ALincoln]

Dear Coach Fran,

I like the cut of your jib.

Your friend,

Phil Mickleson

 

[Jive_Turkey]

Am I still turning?

Sincerely,

The Worm

 

[El Sapo]

Dear Fran-

Please come to my house. I have made you snack cakes and cookies.
I think you are doing a great joiboiruklj bjl hm mmm hprhhh mmprphhp....

Sincerely,
The Listeater

 

[Steel Shank]

Dear Coach Fran,

Just wanted to make sure you're going to be around next year so we can continue to get our licks in.

Signed,
The Big 11

 

[DigglerontheHoof]

Dear Coach Fran,

Thanks for letting me in...early and often.

Sincerely,

Licks

 

[eyeoftex11]

Dear Coach Fran,

its.. 1:34 pm(eastern time) and OU STILL SUCKS!!

love,

the entire area of austin

 

[El Torito]

Dear Coach Fran,
What part of "no" don't you understand? I do not want your scholarship offer.

Sincerely,
El Torito

 

[SynTex]

Dear Coach Fran,

Just because you've put on some weight from the Debbies Cakes and have developed some man boobs, doesn't mean you can steal my patent for "The Bro."

Sincerely,
Frank Costanza

 

[topwater]

dear fran,
thanks for the pink slip. i couldn't take another frickin' day in that hell hole,

Carl T

p.s. Wow!

 

[honolulu horn]

Dear Coach Fran,

Thanks for giving us such a classic in the Cotton Bowl. If my team hadn't scored any points, it would've been a hell of an overtime battle.

Sincerely,
Phil Fulmer

 

[HousHorn09]

Dear Coach Fran,

Hang in there partner, I know how ya feel. Jus' remember, just cuz life gave you lemonade doesn't mean you gotta eat lemons. There's a raincloud in every thunderstorm but that don't mean there ain't lightening. And lastly, don't think that just cuz the sun ain't shining on ur *** that u got plumber's butt.

Whoopee!!!

Coach RC "Stroke'em" Slocum

 

[Dionysus]

Dear Coach Fran,

Should your players still be holding me? Just checking.

Regards,
The Rope

 

[Phil Hellmuth]

dear coach fran,

do you need a deep snapper with some chiseled forearms? If so come bail me out, and give me a scholarship.

-Poop Flinger

 

[toucan82]

Dear Coach Fran,

Please don't lose one of your OOC games next season. I'm too young to die laughing.

Sincerely,
toucan82

 

[Leon]

Dear Coach Fran

When you get fired, you can come over to my house and sample from my wine cellar. I promise, the phone never rings around here.

Sincerely,
John Mackovick

 

[Uncle Rico]

Dear Coach Fran,

I'm playing WR in the NFL.

Reggie McNeal

 

[orange_xpress]

Dear Coach Fran,

I've been a big fan of yours a long time. A lot of people want us to meet and I gotta say...I really do want to meet you. I think you could use my help and guidance. Remember...never let go of that rope. Frantastic!!

Sincerely,
Job Stability

 

[SeeVinceRun]

Dear Fran,

I must say, I'm a little dissappointed by your service. I placed an order for your entire warehouse stockpile of Lil' Frannies to be delivered by today at noon. Very subpar indeed.
-Please review my order, and contact me immediately.

Mark Mangino

I am outraged and I am ******* starving!!! What am I supposed to do now? Hey, there's a Volkswagen...

 

[Jive_Turkey]

Dear Coach Fran,

F you, you two-timing traitor scum. You're getting what you deserve. I hope you rot in hell.

Love,

Phyllis from Mulga

 

[orange avenger]

Dear Coach Fran,

I'd give my right hand to help you out.

Thanks,

Tater

 

[DRAG69]

Dear Coach Fran

I am sending you some leftover Fed-Ex envelopes to help you out. Use them wisely.

Yours truly

Jackie S.

 

[Leon]

Dear Coach Fran,

Don't make us defend the Alamo Dome against real soldiers after a loss.

Sincerely,
The Corps of Cadets

 

[Phil Hellmuth]

Dear Coach Fran,

Please start winning. Sales have decreased 80% since you have taken over and we have been forced to move to a smaller location.

Signed,
Texas Aggie Bookstore

 

[neonmoon]

Dear Fran,

I know it's been a while since we have seen each other, but it's just so hard for us to be together. The last time I saw you, you didn't show much effort, or was that skill? Anyway, I don't think we should ever see each other again, and by what people tell me about what you've been up to, we never will. Have a great life.

sincerely,

A Bowl Game

 

[mulkeyway]

Dear Fran -

I can't see my shoes.

Johnny Jolly

 

[Mitch Cumsteen]

Dear Coach Fran,

I've fallen and I can't get up.

Very truly yours,
The Wrecking Crew